"Thank you for inspiring my son"
Ma maw wrote tae Mrs White
But ma maw didnae ken
There were twa Mrs Whites
Guid Mrs White
Read braw stories on Friday
And did aw the voices
And kent bits o science
Jist flooer science, mind ye
No space or rockets
But it wis mairn maist teachers
Except the heidmaister
The ither Mrs White
Gied ye big stupit rows
If ye watched ITV
But no Ivanhoe.
You don't watch Ivanhoe?
Find Sir Walter Scott a bit beneath you?
Well, Mr White doesn't.
She wis like Jerry the moose
Wha ance drank this ginger
And turnt intae a monster
That Tom Cat wis feart o
And she'd turn back
And be awfy nice
And dae some flooer science
Then go aff her heid
Not one of you children
Has written in their diaries
That the coltsfoot is now in bloom!
Ah made a wee licht
Wi wire and a battery
And shawed Mrs White
Because it wis science
And she said Ah wis clever
And Mr White wis a teacher
Ah could gang tae her hoose
And he'd shaw me mair lichts.
Ah wisnae that keen
Tae gang tae her hoose
So Ah tellt Mrs White
"Oh I might have a book"
Moose
Ginger
Monster
Ginger
Monster
Ew Eh meght hev eh book!
Eh'm tew hegh end meghty
Tew talk tew a person, Eh've got a book!
She went on and on
But it didnae stap there
Efter weeks and weeks
Anither teacher cam in
Here's a boy, Mrs Glenmoor,
Who when you offer him the chance
To meet a teacher from the big school
Says, "Ew, Eh meght hev a book!"
What sort of person
Would rather look at a book
Than talk to a person?
And Ah wished it was Star Trek
And Scotty wid beam me
Or Ah wis the Blue Peter tortoise
And could hide in ma jumper
Ah couldnae be like whit
Mrs White must hae been
When she was a lassie
Wi jist Ivanhoe
And fillin her diary
Wi the coltsfoot in bloom
And no feart tae gang
Tae her auld teacher's hoose
Oh mother, Ivanhoe is finished
And it's just that awful Thunderbirds
So I'm off to my teacher's house
To learn about lights
From her husband from the big school
And I'll make sure I look
To see if the coltsfoot is now in bloom.
And nane o her stories
Were as excitin as Batman
And nane o her flooer science
Wis as guid as ma book
But efter aw that
-Ye micht no believe me-
Ma maist favourite teacher
Wis guid Mrs White.
